BER month is almost here

i can’t believe it! its BER month already tomorrow! in a few winks, it will be December again and then another year will be ending. this just means that ¾ of the year has already passed by. how has it been for you?

for me it's been very (tough) productive and exciting. God has been so faithful in providing for all our needs.

aside from that, we have had major sicknesses this year... my mum's hospitalization and operation due to her cholecystectomy, my LiL brother Jo sickness, me, my niece Sophia and nephew JD is sick on and off, sickness of every member of the family after wards. and hope they will get better soon.

we also planning to get a new place this year. its been a challenge and adjustment but i am grateful that we are doing well.

i hope that in the remaining months of the year, there would be lesser sickness and more happy days for everyone!

hopeless?

i am writing this in response to a message from Vanessa regarding feeling hopeless.

is there hope?

the question i am asked most often.
is there hope after the results?
is there hope after relapse?
is there hope for those who didn't make it after struggling for many years?

YES. there IS hope.

hope deferred makes the people.
after summer is winter.
we walk through the valleys to get to the mountaintops.
after dark there is light.
after nightime there is morning.
after tears there is laughter.

THERE IS HOPE!!

grab onto whatever percentage of hope you can...even if it is 1%. but, there is no way ANYONE can fight this alone. furthermore, fighting it in secret is even more dangerous.

reach out.
get the help.
tell someone.
beg for help.
you can not do it alone.

but for those of you struggling...you have to remember it is a journey. one step at a time. the journey can not be walked alone. the journey can not include "secrets." Ed loooves secrets. that is where he gains power. ask for help. get the help. do what ever it takes to ride that wave of hope. but...not alone and not in secret.

and then the wave will grow...from 1% to 5% and daily as you fight...you WILL go stronger.

but, you CAN NOT DO IT ALONE!

recovery and hope is possible dear friend. i am a living example and there are many more like me out there! i want to shout as loud as i can...YES...THERE IS HOPE!

but, it can not be done alone.

read this poem and then use the tools you have in front of you (you think you don't have any...but they are there...Ed is just blinding you from seeing them). and then reach out for help!

you can do it! Life IS WORTH IT!! HOPE and RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!

surprise kitty!

a little something to brighten up your Monday. :))

i'm beginning to think mangoes are manic-depressive. one day, they’re high-intensity, full of vim and vigor, starring or even taking over an entire meal. they’re like this when you eat them ripe out of hand, in a mango furomaji (Bread Talk). you can’t stop them. they’re gorgeous. they shine. they dazzle. the depressive mango usually turns up in baked goods, i’ve found. the mango loses its bright flavors and becomes inert.

i'm the biggest fan of this one and the photo is smiley GORGEOUS! BT really really good. :) try now if you haven't try it.

novel - Crime and Punishment

so I just finished "Crime and Punishment" novel book by a famous Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

Crime and Punishment is by truth the best book ever written. it talks about Raskolnikov, a foreign student troubled by money woes who commits a heinous crime. then he gets sick of himself and has all of that guilt in his heart and can't let go of it.

it also analyses not only the mind of an young man but a whole community. i was deeply affected by the 30th chapter where Raskolnikov opens his heart to Sonya...who can give such a description...

the life of a young man struggling with insanity. it is powerful and moving as he takes you into the psyche and behavior of one of the most deranged characters of any fictional tale.

Mrs. Marmeladov's name is Katherina Ivanova. Katherina Ivanova is also the name of one of the heroines in Brothers Karamazov; she was very proud and had an awful temper, though she could be tender when she wanted to be; and she wasn't low-born. Both Katherina Ivanovas share these basic characteristics. when I read Brothers Karamazov, i thought that Katherina was likely to end up going crazy if she didn't get herself and her ungovernable passions under control.

i am just confused, was were both Katherinas the same woman, were they different but Dostoevsky was trying to make a point, or did Dostoevsky just like the name and forgot he already used it? well, considering that one was miserable wife of a penniless vodka fan and the other one rich and respected - I doubt.

i laughed, sad and cried. this is the first book to impact me so deeply.

GO READ IT NOW if you have not already. <3>

God has a purpose for everything

be strong...
never tell yourself, i am tired... the more you accept that thought... the more exhausted you'll become.. but if you tell yourself, i can do even more... you'll find that there are no limits to what you can accomplish.. for God never get tired of guiding you all the time...!

God has a purpose for everything.

a message from my friend, CM.

Venus Raj did a great job!

Congratulations to Venus Raj for placing in d Ms Universe 2010 pageant. You bring honor n inspiration to the country. #Philippines
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 11:06:54 AM via ÜberTwitter

In beauty pageants it's not d answer dat matters but HOW u answer. If Venus said it with confidence, whatever her ans was, den all good.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 10:49:22 AM via ÜberTwitter

Top 5 or not, Venus Raj is a beautiful Filipina.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 7:27:35 PM via ÜberTwitter


these are post from Pia Magalona's twitter account.
all i can say that i believe that Venus did a great job. she did her best. being in the top 15 is already an achievement what more that she is now the 4th runner up. it is something that we Filipinos should be proud of. specially after the tragedy the day before the coronation night here in our country. Maria Venus Raj is a MAJOR MAJOR ACHIEVER! No one has the right to criticize her specially the Filipinos because she still gave honor to our country that every Filipinos should be proud of. instead of criticizing why not celebrate?

the “major major” phrase in her answer was even a trending topic on Twitter and has become a favorite expression nowadays.

even a former US President Bush and several American journalists couldn't answer Venus Raj's question.

According to a report aired on “ABC World News with Diane Sawyer,” former US President George W. Bush could not give a response when a journalist asked him, “what would your biggest mistake be?”

“Mmm... I wish I, you would have given me a, this written, a question ahead of time,” was all that Bush could utter.

although the Filipinos bet was not crowned Miss Universe “i am so proud about Venus' achievement. where she answered it in English no matter what the consequences. she’s way more beautiful than the winner. she did her best. and she made us proud.”

raining

• Yabanzade Ördek i want it
• 
  
• Jaz Udaundo that's all we need ;P

  
  

  Jaz Udaundo i wanna be in the rain that falls on you :D

  
  

  Yabanzade Ördek lets wait till ur wish comes true :P

  
  

  Jaz Udaundo ‎:D

  
  

  Jaz Udaundo i'll make my wish comes true :D

  
  

  Yabanzade Ördek good luck bein drop :P i'll b waittin :o)

  
  
• Jaz Udaundo ‎:D thanks.. looking forward on that

Eye of Jackie Chan

HK is a nation built by a lot of different people..don't worry! We do not hate!
8:43 PM Aug 24th via ÜberTwitter

If they killed the guy sooner, they will say why not negotiate first? If they negotiate first, they ask why not kill the guy sooner? So sad
7:40 PM Aug 24th via ÜberTwitter

this kind of things always happen around the world. It happened to hk's people, the whole hk is talking about it. Its really sad.
7:39 PM Aug 24th via ÜberTwitter

I come back to hk & I hear terrible news about what happened in filippines. A lot of things dont happen to (cont) http://tl.gd/3an2fd
7:38 PM Aug 24th via ÜberTwitter


these are post from Jackie Chan's twitter account. i am thankful for his understanding on the past tragedy . REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENED- I AM NOT ASHAME TO SAY THAT I AM PROUD TO BE A FILIPINO AND THE PHILIPPINES IS MY HOMELAND!!! and i am not like Capt. Mendoza. Filipinos are not all like Capt. Mendoza.
my humble opinion is that our constitution prohibits law preventing laws against freedom of expression, but not laws restricting communication…he he he
for all my Chinese national friends, we do not want the tragedy that happened and i feel sorry for it.
anyway, i hope all of us learned on this tragedy. not only Filipinos but for the entire nations. learn from other's mistakes, ika nga. most important are communication and coordination of everybody. plan first before do any move especially life is in danger. i hope it will never happened again..

who am i really is the consciousness behind all the definitions, the thoughts, the feelings, the actions, the weaknesses and the strengths. love and light..

just dream about . color fills our lives. just dream about. oh, won't you be mine
against red skies. for all time.

Miss Universe 2010

Miss Philippines - Venus Raj

(The 2010 MISS UNIVERSE® competition will be LIVE from fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada at Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino on Monday, August 23rd from the Mandalay Bay Events Center.)

We are so proud of you Venus! Hope you bring home the crown!

to become wind

When I die, I will become wind. And I will live above your roof. When you die, you will become the sun. And so anyway you will be above me. As an autumn wind
I will be flying somewhere along the whole world together with you
As the wind. You will not notice it. But I will secretly whisper to you with the wind:"Oh my sun, where are you?"

But please, oh please don't hurry up to become the sun. Listen, I will be singing the songs from the roofs just for you. I will be the one you breathe with, It is just left to become the wind. I will be just waiting for your smile. I will be listening to your records. I will be collecting snowflakes from your eyelashes
It is just left to become the wind...

When I die, I will become the wind. To take a fall on the ground with the first snow.
Flying with laugh, flying together with you along the whole world. And there will be no one happier in this world. When you die, you will become the sun. And you will take away my frosts. And mimosas will bloom in the gardens. And little pieces of ice of the heart will turn into tears

But please, please don't hurry up to become the sun. Listen, I will be singing the songs from the roofs just for you. I will be the one you breathe with,It is just left to become the wind. I will be just waiting for your smile. I will be listening to your records. I will be collecting snowflakes from your eyelashes

It is just left to become the wind...

But please, please don't hurry up to become the sun. Listen, I will be singing the songs from the roofs just for you. I will be the one you breathe with,It is just left to become the wind. I will be just waiting for your smile. I will be listening to your records. I will be collecting snowflakes from your eyelashes

It is just left to become the wind...

my break up story

So as u can guess from the title i am having bad days me and blah broke up a few weeks ago actually he dumped me =( this is why i have been away for all this time. i was trying to recover my heart and soul i thought i could do it by hiding and denying but i now know i gotta put them into words to move on with my life.

as a result i decided to write about this phases i am being through this is my break up story;

THE 1st PHASE:THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME

when he told that he wanted to break up, i cried non-stop for the first four or five days (and on and off) the following days i kept repeating “i can’t believe this is happening to me” and asking “are you sure?” it just didn’t seem real and I wondered when I would wake up from this horrible nightmare.

I didn’t eat or sleep for days

2. MENTAL TURMOIL

After the weeks that followed, the range of emotions I felt was often overwhelming. I was angry that he could seemingly ruin my life with that one, of my big mistake. The pain engulfed me, and at times it seemed never-ending. I felt like I was literally buried in sadness.

I felt robbed of the beautiful future that I thought we would have together.

3. TORMENTING QUESTIONS

How could I be so foolish, stupid, and oblivious? I was so embarrassed that I never saw it coming. I was totally blind-sided. I felt confused because we seemed so happy. I thought we loved each other. I thought we cared for each other. Her friends, seemingly, envied us. Our friendship strong and I’d describe our communication as open and respectful. Simply put, we were good together – or so I thought.

How could I not know? How could I have been the only one in this relationship that was blissfully happy? How could I be so stupid?

I felt so humiliated that I could not have known him like I thought I did. I began to wonder if we ever REALLY know someone. I began to question absolutely EVERYTHING that we said and did over the past several years together. Was it all just a big lie? Was it all just an illusion?

The one question I kept asking myself was “what have I done to deserve this?”

4. WORRIES

I was afraid of being on my own because I had never been on my own. I was afraid I could not support myself. What if I wasn’t strong enough to make it on my own? What if no one would ever fancy me or love me again? How would I learn to trust again? How would I regain my will to live again? I feared that I might do something “foolish”. I wondered if I might be manic-depressive or bi-polar. What if I never stopped crying?

Ultimately, I worried that I would always feel this lost and scared and alone.

5. ALONG CAME THE MAD CRAZIES

All my empathetic friends gave me the most creative ideas of how to get back at him. They suggested watercress in the carpet, cutting up clothes, hair removal crème in the shampoo, fish in the floorboards or wall cavities – you name it, I heard I!

The revenge fantasies worked for a while but eventually I got bored and opted for a more positive form of revenge. Besides, “what comes around goes around” and I didn’t really want the bad karma!

6. ACCEPTANCE & LOOKING FORWARD

After a month or so, the shock had subsided slightly and the fears were less haunting I started to feel a bit better. My confidence came trickling back. .Eventually, weeks after the break-up, a new feeling emerged: RELIEF yea i have been sad all this time In the early stages. Then, the vindictive side wished he would get dumped to see how it felt. The vengeful side wanted to make him pay for what he had done to me. The naïve side wished he’d come back begging. The insecure side wanted him to come back and take care of me. Then, the independent side took over i know i will move on my life (soon)

i am not as angry as before actually i am thankful for the time we spent together i am thankful that i felt loved and i loved back =) he was my love he IS my love this will never change i will always remeber him in a good way. to me he was a perfect guy he will always be but now i know that he wasnt "THE ONE" that means i will keep searching =)

At the end of the day, I learned a lot about myself, I decided to learn as much as I could from the break-up. I learned where I went wrong and what I do/don’t want in my life now. i am moving on i am hopeful about future and excited about the possibilities that now lay before me.i think i am growing up and i am gonna be just fine =)

thanks for reading

Peace, hope and love

my biggest secret: talked with Jham

I am a confused person in a donut world made of chocolate.

Jaz Udaundo salamat! akalain mo yun parehas tau ehehe..

Jham Jhoseif Elizalde Haha! Be careful of the nasty sugar rush.

Jaz Udaundo it’s okay to treat yourself to something sweet and fatty every now and again so
long as it stays every now and again. fizzy drinks are just nasty. they’re full of sugars and carbon dioxide which give you a sugar rush for a short period of time then a low. : P

Jham Jhoseif Elizalde yes? nosebleed! GOD! Cant stop it : ))

Jaz Udaundo ‎: ))) try n substitute snacks for fruit, dried or fresh is fine or maybe try some of the nuts out there or the odd dried fruit, but be careful with prunes!!!

Jham Jhoseif Elizalde haha! ms nutritionist : )) i want to gain lean muscle without the hassle :))

Jaz Udaundo haha, work out without a gym..

Jaz Udaundo exercises done correctly will build the lean muscle n increase ur metabolism in the same way as performing exercises at a gymnasium, but without the time constraints and associated costs. : ))

Jham Jhoseif Elizalde haha! nurse na nurse aa! yes mam! : )

Jaz Udaundo haha, a routine care of nurses : P

take my hand, we'll make it (I swear)

Speaking of love...my love life is very confused. i dunno where to stand at all. he said, he's still care of me, don't make him rush and will tell soon. i feel like he still like me, i feel like he don't. when i used to like but i don't, but i do. for the sake of my guy i used to like ever since we met, i really like him, and he can feel that. i really do like him, it's confusing and just ARGGHHH and i want to beat myself. with el pickelo. or something.


*Sigh*

happiness ♥

how am i goin to start this. oh well, yesterday, we have no internet connection sincelast night, i am soo disappointed with the PLDT DHL. kz lagi na lang nawawalang ng connection these past few days eh. but despite of that, it all went turns to happiness. Yeah, i am soo happy yesterday cuz of my CNO and today i received an important mail, you know. and i can't express how happy i am. *tears of joy?* or maybe... eto ba lahat ang sagot ng mga ups and downs ko sa buhay?!? well, hope so. Thank you po Lord for everything. Really thanks ya lot. :))))

sigh

today i don't want to sleep.. i wish i will never sleep.

thinking i shouldn't give up. fight for myself and who i am . i've got to go through the worst times in life to get the best.

Put your iPod on shuffle:

First 15 songs that play

My Ipod is currently empty cause iTunes is stupid. But i will do the same thing in Limewire:)

1. Thinking of You - Katty Perry

2. Ego - The Saturdays

3. Kickstart - Example

4. Never Cnage - Sam Ock

5. Celebration - Madonna

6. Senziz Olmuyor - Ozan

7. Not Going Home - Faithless

8. Waving Flag - K'naan

9. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

10. Release Me - Agnes

11. Benim Kucuk Sevgilim -

12. The Show - Lenka

13. Naturally - Selena

14. Hey Soul Sis - Train

15. Whattaya Want From Me - Adam Lambert

views talked about Inception

how u can create a dream world but it looks like reality and they steal information
: P

Mercury Aguda Zurbrigen Eeerrr...,dunno

Jaz Udaundo that's...interestingly weird. XD it has leonardo in it. : D he did act good in that movie .. a little scary though. it was confusing but i kind of got it :)) it's really cool!

Mercury Aguda Zurbrigen Strange ending tho...ur talking about inception, right?

Jaz Udaundo yea, excellent! : P

Odessa Ventura-Bilango i've watched it..i had nausea after..not ideal 4 pregnant women ;-(

Marla Eizzel Completo cool! i wanna watch again :D leonardo died.

Jaz Udaundo me too.
leonardo dies on almost every movie lol. he went into some dream world for a while so basically yes he did :D

Best movie I have ever seen anyway.

Happy "Worldwide Friendship Day"!

	Faithful Reliable Interesting Everlasting Nice Different Sharing Helpful Incredible Polite

Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship. One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.


Celebrated on the first Sunday in August, its time to recognize your friends and their contribution to your life. The first Sunday in August was proclaimed National Friendship Day by the U.S. Congress in 1935, and remains a tradition observed in many countries and cultures. In 1997, the United Nations named Winnie the Pooh as the world�s Ambassador of Friendship.


People show their appreciation for their friendship in diverse and multiple ways, some expressions may be tangible ones, such as flowers, particularly the pink friendship rose, cookies chocolates, souvenirs from their vacations, a tape favorite songs, farewell dinners, and welcome balloons.


Recipe for Friendship
2 cups of patience, 1 heart full of love, 2 handful of generosity, 2 cups of loyalty, 1 cup of understanding, A dash of laughter. Mix all ingredients well. Sprinkle generously over a lifetime and serve everyone you meet.

Friendship helps to bring peace and positivity to the globe, another great reason to celebrate! Although our friends certainly deserve thanks on more than just one day in the year, what better day to honor them than Friendship Day!!

Friends are like flowers in the green of life...


A sweet thought for all my friends esp to my BFF Fantastic 4 Girlfriends named Jah, Ashley and Jen. May we treasure our friends. I love you guys! mwahzz..