Most importantly, what we are realy talking about is lableless relationships, true and unresticted friendship. Friendship is the foundation of any real relationship, and without it there is no understanding, no trust, and no commitment, only calousness and failure can come of it. Second relationships should be self defining, evolving naturaly, not boxed and pre-constructed. Freedom is the key to what you would call an open relationship. When you are with your partner(s), you are there because you want to be not because you feel obligated or your afraid of starting over. In such relationships there is no fear, and therefore no reason for lies. No when you wake up with someone you know they want to wake up next to you. Lastly we do not tell each other everything we do, however if we are asked a question we answer it, and we respect each other including our time and habits, if we want to do something that would break our routine (interupt us time) then we let the other know first, regardless of what that might be. It is respect for the relationship that binds us rather than some arftificial commitment, it love (better defined as "acceptance" and understanding).
- comment from Anonymous in a discussion about open relationships at philosophyetc.net
Some couples in open relationships require that the partner be notified of any sexual interaction. In such a relationship, a partner can obviously betray their partner by having sex on the sly. Some open relationships involve forbidding one night stands. Some forbid unsafe sex with anyone other than the partner. Some allow sexual interactions only if the partner knows the other person involved, and give that partner a veto. Some couples with children have very strict rules to prevent the children from knowing. Some are closed sexually but open romantically (they allow outside dating, making out, or whatever, but not actual sexual intercourse). Some are open sexually but closed romantically. Some allow outside sex only within the confines of a swap (i.e., if one partner wants it he/she has to set up the other partner for it, too). And so forth. All one has to do to cheat and betray is violate rules like these. Cheating on one's partner is in most cases surprisingly easy; outside of unrestricted polyamory there's probably no stable sexual relationship where it isn't. Likewise, being in an open relationship can just as easily lead to occasions of jealousy as being in a closed relationship; the former only requires indifference to one particular thing that is usually an occasion for jealousy.(Another common mistake that you don't seem to be making, but is perhaps worth mentioning in light of some previous comments, is the view that being an open relationship means that one actually has sex or romantic liaisons with other people. All that is actually required is that if one were to do so it would not be considered cheating by either partner. It's possible to have an open relationship in which neither partner ever actually has sex or a romantic liaison with anyone other than the partner; some people don't want to even when they are in an open relationship.)(--commented by Brandon)
